[Women 1 Liners]

I married Miss Right, I just didn't know her first name was Always

Women are like guns, if you keep them long enough, you will want to shoot them.

I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months. I wouldn't want to interrupt her.

A man inserted an ad into a newspaper asking for a wife. The next day he had loads of letters saying "Have mine..."

The number one way to remember your wife's birthday is... to forget it once.

In the beginning, God created man then rested. Then God created animals, then rested. Then he created women. Since then, neither man nor God has rested.

Then there was the man who said "I didn't know what true happiness was until I got married, and then it was too late.

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